Seriously why am I posting this? Serious question

I don't have anything to say these days except what I've done these days and what I've done these days isn't interesting.

Why would anyone want to hear about my writing habits? (I feel good about the words I'm writing and thoughts I'm thinking for the longer thing I'm working on but am struggling with shorter things thus eif is struggling)

I went to the library. "Don't you do that every day?" (Todday as I approached the library I heard a fire alarm. Then I saw two fire engines. Then I saw like 200 people standing on the side of the road. But the fire was in the building across the road from the library so I was all good)

Food? Yeah right (Today I had a bowl of fettuccine with no topping for lunch)

Books I read... (Today I finished Timequake. It reminded me of David Markson at first but then it started coming together but I think it was influenced by Markson, who is mentioned in the book. I felt like I learnt a bit about how to piece a novell together from reading this. It is impressive how Vonnegut utilises personal anecdote asides to further a story) that was lame and didn't express half of my thoughts on the book.

My photos are boring.

Where did all those original thoughts go?

What should I blog about?

I've been thinking of doing a video. Nothing exciting. Just me talking to the camera as if it was someone who wanted to know what was on my mind.

THe blog revolution is over and I am a floundering fish

PS - Now I'm going to write about my sister. DOn't tell her becayse she wouldn't want me to write about her.

She has now finished highschool. We are equal in terms of educational qualitfications. Next year she will begin studying to become an acrchitect and overtake me. Now she is working at the after school care that I used to work at. The only place where I have been engaged in official employment. She is also working a bunch of other one off jobs. She has: handed voters their forms, acted for a bank in a roleplaying training exercise, sold donuts, moved furniture, and cleaned an old man's house. She was always a very hard worker at school. Now that school is over she has transferred that discipline to employment. He CV is probably already better than mine. How do I keep/catch up?

David Fishkind

I am writing these words in the library:

Earlier this year there was a period when I considered facebook my main creative outlet. Now I feel uncomfortable and pretentious using the term ‘main creative outlet’ but this blog is probably it. Why? Partly because of read Selected Unpublished Blog Posts Of A Mexican Panda Express Employee and Nothing. Partly because this is what I need at the moment to translate my life into something conceivable. I need to read more David Markson. I need to understand what I’m trying to do.

I wish I worked on the three books that I keep thinking about as much as I work on this blog. Maybe their time will come. Maybe it will not.

Today as I was leaving the house my sister asked me what I was reading. I said ‘Nothing’ and showed her this book and she laughed.

As I was walking reading this book and old man coming the other way up the street said ‘Boo’ and startled me and I felt concerned for a disproportionate amount of time.

Just outside the library a person who asks people to sign up for donations said to me ‘Is that book about nothing?’ and I said ‘Yes’ and kept walking before she could say anything else.

My favourite spot in the library is taken so I am sitting here instead.

As I was walking to this spot I saw this book on a shelf. It interested me but I cannot get it out because I set myself the rule of only two things borrowed from the library at a time. Is these rules useful? Sometimes reading one page is an achievement. Sometimes it is a joy. Is it better to force myself to read a book I know I want to read and already know so much about or to open something new? A balance is probably best. I need to find the correct ratio. But a ratio needs to be monitored and regulated and that is more rules.

I was hoping to maybe write some of some other things while I was here but I don’t have time. It is time for me to go to my dad’s school and work with children. Work with children could mean that I am doing the same work as the children. Afterwards I will come back here. Maybe I will work on writing things that I want to write, or maybe I will find Project X on the shelf again and read it and read it and read it


I am writing these words on my return to the library:

Late to my second shift in a row and I have only worked two shifts but an hour and a half isn’t a shift and it isn’t really work, isn’t even really volunteering, they are doing me a favour letting me come in. Today I did get to help the kids with reading. I tried to make clever/funny comments on the text to impress them. I learnt that lions cannot chew and have to swallow their food whole. There is a boy named Caesar who is intelligent but easily distracted and I am trying to help him focus. Next week I think I will go for longer. I will lead Caesar by example in focussing.

I swam in the rain. I had a medium pace lane to myself and I enjoyed the privacy for my selfprescribed 30 length but then was chased off by two colourful swimcapped men. I showered and in the changing room saw old men’s penises. There were bikinied girls in the spa.

Here I am. With Nothing on one side of me and Project X on the other and instead of choosing between them I will probably try to make them complement each other. Typing into this documented called fdsasgvvsad. This post is too glossy and not honest enough but I cannot censor my lies. This blog has rules and one of them is that there are no rules.

I have decided I am buying books for Christmas presents. I am supporting good literature and not giving a fuck what my friends and family actually want.

There is an election three days. I still haven’t researched the various parties policies. I am aware of my ignorance. Is that an oxymoron? My sister is working at a poll booth if that’s what they’re called. She will give people their ballots if that’s what they’re called. See how I am ignorant?

And now I have run out of words that will fit here and I will try to fit words into other places


I am adding these last words as I lie in bed:

I read two and a half pages of Nothing, unable to fully hold the words in my mind. But that’s okay because that is similar what Blake is describing.

I read one and a bit pages of Project X, which wasn’t enough to figure out what it is. But that’s okay because I can return to it tomorrow.

I walked on tight calves as my stomach swallowed itself. When I arrived home the leftover lasagne I had expected had disappeared and I began berating myself for not buying a meal in town but then my mum swooped in and piled me with pita and hummus and bread and beans. I drank water and ate a nashi pear

I'm tired