Feeling sorry for myself DONT WASTE YOUR TIME READING THIS LOL

I've been worrying about how this blog has been too depressed. I have been trying not to let concerns of quality or how I come across alter what I post here. I have been extremely depressed the last three or so days. (FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DONT KNOW I HAVE CLINICAL DEPRESSION AND A SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER). It will pass and then the mood of this blog will balance out and all will be right with the world.

I've basically spent the last three days in bed. I need a friend to come over and make me do things with them. Last year when I was too scared to leave my flat. My friend Nicole would come over and make me go and play netball with her. That was very helpful.

Caro eventually got me to go for a walk today. I just got back. Megan Boyle's book arrived today. I brought it on my walk. I read it while I walked down Taranaki street. I think it will help me with reading (LATELY ALL IVE WANTED TO DO IS READ AND WRITE BUT I HAVENT BEEN ABLLE TO FOCUS ENOUGH TO DO EITHER). I have been feeling a muu muu vibe recently. A drop of water fell onto the boook as I was walking. I dried it off. I walked to Fix and bought a blue powerade and a big bag of m&ms. I carried them to a bench near the library and read as I ate and drank. I walked in a loop back to the bottom of Taranaki street. The vertical bungee that had been set up on taranaki street for years is gone now. They took it dsown this week. I think that's sad.

Vertical is actually a bad name for it because all bungees are vertical.

You know how Zachary German's book is callled Eat WHen You Feel Sad? Well I actually do that. I pump myself full of sugar.

In the package with Megans book were some heart stickers. I'm curious what other people got in their packages.

I was gonna write about other stuff but I can't remember.
Oh yeah about how I've been feeling like a failure. I was hoping to break the guiness world record for longest hug with caro but they just sent me the guidelines and it seems too hard. Also I need to edit some things for publication but I look at them on the screen and just seize up. Also I was meant to do this run tomorrow but I dont know if I am anymore. I was supposed to go to a check in thing for it today but I didnt go. Been stuggling to make stuff for everything is fantastic. Have been posting things there that i wanted to save for other things. Need to make zines.

I was gonna write about other stuff but I can't remember