Secret blog could mean the blog is a secret or that I tell you secrets in the blog

In my first year of highschool, when I was 13, we spent half an hour a week in a room full of computers and did quizzes. We were supposed to answer questions nonstop. The questions were extremely easy. I was too scared to ask the teacher/supervisor if I could leave, so I pissed my pants.

I am still bad at leaving rooms/situations. Last weekend I was at a party, standing in the kitchen. I wanted to leave for 30 minutes without moving. Then I just walked straight out without warning. My friend Penny said 'Are you leaving Tom?' as I walked out the door. I quietly said 'Yes'.

I want to say something about why I am like this/what it means/how I can improve but it's 12:45am and I can't think.

My real name is Tom.

Today I read Fences by Ben Brooks. It was cool. Ben is cool. Idk. I like the different font sizes thing. I wanna do some stuff with that. Also with colour. Even though this book is way different to Grow Up it felt similar to me.

Tuesday/Monday (in the US) is date night. Me and Caro watched Inland Empire. The Lynch fest continued. Weird movie. I didn't like it as much as Mulholland Drive, that was my fav so far. [I should have written this post earlier in tonight. I'm too sleepy now]. So this movie blurred the line between movies and reality and the line between movies and remakes. It puts scenes from reality (which imitates art), a movie (which imitates reality), and a remake (which imitates the movie (DUH)), and the folktale the movie was based of (idk) next to each other with no explanation. It puts FAR less of the pieces together than Mulholland did. I was gonna say some clever shit about this but now I can't. Maybe Caro will write something. Hopefully. Movie was too long. David Lynch always has sweet songs in his movies. Next up is Blue Velvet.

Fuck I'm mad at how bad this blog post is. I'm really sorry.

My copies of FOUR arrived today. Please buy it.

I'm going to have one interview included in every issue of Red Lightbulbs from now on. So that's cool.

IM NOT GONNA GET ENOUGH SLEEP TONIGHT.

I want to be a part of everything. I always feel really worried about missing out on things. I want to contribute more to the community. I want to support people. I want to show people things that they wouldn''t see otherwise.

I haven't drawn anything in a while.

Instead I've liked 22320 posts on tumblr. Is that the way that I want to support people? Well yes I want to keep doing that but I also want to do something more far reaching. Idk. I will never be content.

I just made two new tumblrs for potential proojects. WHO THE FUCK AM I TO MAKE PROJECTS? THERE ARE ALREADY SO MANY JOURNALS AND SHIT OUT THERE. WHY WOULD ANYONE GIVE A FUCK ABOUT MINE? Can I please make a living from this shit? I never want to get a job.

I'm drinking chocolate milk.

Will I ever write a book?

This just became a rambling rant.

RESPECT ME