Secret blog could mean the blog is a secret or that I tell you secrets in the blog

In my first year of highschool, when I was 13, we spent half an hour a week in a room full of computers and did quizzes. We were supposed to answer questions nonstop. The questions were extremely easy. I was too scared to ask the teacher/supervisor if I could leave, so I pissed my pants.

I am still bad at leaving rooms/situations. Last weekend I was at a party, standing in the kitchen. I wanted to leave for 30 minutes without moving. Then I just walked straight out without warning. My friend Penny said 'Are you leaving Tom?' as I walked out the door. I quietly said 'Yes'.

I want to say something about why I am like this/what it means/how I can improve but it's 12:45am and I can't think.

My real name is Tom.

Today I read Fences by Ben Brooks. It was cool. Ben is cool. Idk. I like the different font sizes thing. I wanna do some stuff with that. Also with colour. Even though this book is way different to Grow Up it felt similar to me.

Tuesday/Monday (in the US) is date night. Me and Caro watched Inland Empire. The Lynch fest continued. Weird movie. I didn't like it as much as Mulholland Drive, that was my fav so far. [I should have written this post earlier in tonight. I'm too sleepy now]. So this movie blurred the line between movies and reality and the line between movies and remakes. It puts scenes from reality (which imitates art), a movie (which imitates reality), and a remake (which imitates the movie (DUH)), and the folktale the movie was based of (idk) next to each other with no explanation. It puts FAR less of the pieces together than Mulholland did. I was gonna say some clever shit about this but now I can't. Maybe Caro will write something. Hopefully. Movie was too long. David Lynch always has sweet songs in his movies. Next up is Blue Velvet.

Fuck I'm mad at how bad this blog post is. I'm really sorry.

My copies of FOUR arrived today. Please buy it.

I'm going to have one interview included in every issue of Red Lightbulbs from now on. So that's cool.

IM NOT GONNA GET ENOUGH SLEEP TONIGHT.

I want to be a part of everything. I always feel really worried about missing out on things. I want to contribute more to the community. I want to support people. I want to show people things that they wouldn''t see otherwise.

I haven't drawn anything in a while.

Instead I've liked 22320 posts on tumblr. Is that the way that I want to support people? Well yes I want to keep doing that but I also want to do something more far reaching. Idk. I will never be content.

I just made two new tumblrs for potential proojects. WHO THE FUCK AM I TO MAKE PROJECTS? THERE ARE ALREADY SO MANY JOURNALS AND SHIT OUT THERE. WHY WOULD ANYONE GIVE A FUCK ABOUT MINE? Can I please make a living from this shit? I never want to get a job.

I'm drinking chocolate milk.

Will I ever write a book?

This just became a rambling rant.

RESPECT ME

boring blog

Did you know that it's actually Jackson's younger sister writing this blog? I bet you didn't.

I don't write everything that happens to me in this blog. It seems like that would be consoring myself. I am giving you a limited yet honest view of my life or somethiing. Usually I don't care about censoring myself. I do it to improve the ratio of quality to bullshit. But on this blog I am attempting not to censor myself.

Last night I sllept for two hours. Then I stood and sat in the cold for two hours. Then I ran 8km.

 


Today I returned all of my library books but one. It was difficult to fit them all into my backpack. New rule: no more than two books issued from the library at once.

I'm beginning to think that Blake Butler and Tao Lin are the same person.

I think about these posts before I write them but I always forget something.

UNCENSORED THOUGHTS:
I wish me and Ben Brooks had a caring email correspondence.
I wish me and James Duncan still chatted regularly.
Does anyone want to publish a book by me? Will you agree to publish it sight unseen? Give me monthly deadlines like I need the first draft of this stroy by next monday.

There were lots of girls dressed as fairies. I like fairies.

I bought 10 mini donuts fresh from the deepfrier for $5. I went to a mcdonalds that i always expect/hope to be empty but is always busy. Today I discovered there is an unstrairs. I bought a larger choc sunday and a large chips. I wanted to get a frozen l&p too but they were out or something. I should have bought a drink because I need to stay hydrated.

I washed my head (at first i accidently wrote shaved). My hair feels nice. I have a headache.

My mum bought this shirt from a garage sale many many many years ago. I think i was still in primary school. I still like it








I like how Megan Boyle doesn't end her paragraphs with full stops.

Caro has turned her blog into a fashion blog. She is way better than Bebe Zeva.

I don't have any credit on my cellphone

title

Am I really getting sikk or am I just using that as an excuse to noot do things? The last couple weeks my brain felt like an arrow, now it feels like a blob. I triedd to read Tender Buttons by Gertrude Stein again (in the bath thiis time) but I couldn't get past the first page. I couldn't focus.

Now I'm lying in my parents bed. Is that weird? Doesn't seem to weird to me. I just wanted a change of secene I guess. I'm rewatching the third season of Skins. Why? I don't know. I'm writing this blog post way earlier in the day than I wrote the other ones.

Alice sent me  a get untired fast plan. I put it as my desktop background. Here is my desktop:

It's messy right. Is that a sign of something? I'm going to try and follow this plan. Hopefully it will help.

I'm interviewing a few people at the moment. Does any website want me to be their in house interviewer or something? Idk.

I did two loud sneezes. My nose isn't blocked though. Am I sick? My throat is sore. Do you want to nurse me back to health? You could wear a nurses uniform. It might be fun. It might not.

I gave my friend a copy of Grow Up for his birthday. I gave him a hug and lifted him up. I watched people play table tennis. I watched people play Fifa '11. I listened to people talk. I ate some cake. I am a chocolate cake connoisseur. I have high standards for chocolate cake. This cake was only okay, but it was served with icecream and chocolate so that was nice. My friend has a tradition for his birthday where everyone at the party takes a bite out of the same slice of cake. It's cool. Here's a photo of it from last year:

Here is my friend:

Wow that's a small photo.
Yesterday was my first time seeing him in ages.
Like half a year or something.
Was kinda weird.
Awkward.
He was one of my best friends.
Was my first time seeing a lot of other people in a long time as well.
Time to wrap this up.
How do I wrap this up?
wrap wrap wrap wrap wrap wrap wrapw warp

I am now taking requests on what to blog about. What shall I blog about?

62% Cocoa muthafuckas

Tomorrow I hope to:
Finish reading this lydia davis book
get out some dvds
write 500 words in this novel im writing (OH LOOK AT ME I"M WRITING A NOVEL WHO GIVES A FUCK no it's not part of nanowrimo)
go for a run
watch that ustream
seems pretty busy.

This evening I got a call on my cellphone. I hate phonecalls. Usually I don't answer. SOmetimes my sister gets mad at me for not answering the home phone. Tonight I answered. It was my old flatmate. He had accidentally transferred $150 dollars into my account and wanted it back. I talked to him. then went to send the money back but realised I didn't kknow his account number. I texted to ask for it but realised that I had texted the wrong sSimon@! Anyway it all got sorted in the end. It was okay

I really need to trim my fingernails.

I'm sleepy/tired. I sent a photo of my penis to someone the other day and they kept going on about how big it was. I don't think it's that big.

I want to have one more sizable paragraph but I don't know what it should be about. My dad read grow up by Ben Brooks. We went for a run together tonight. We talked a little about funny moments in the book. I really liked the knock knock joke. DISCO/NNECT. My dad asked me how I thought this book compared to Tao Lin (HE HAS READ SOME TAO LIN ALSO). I said I thought they were different/ trying to do different things. I said although I viewed Ben as being part of the same internet scene (LOOSELY) comparing this book to Tao's work wasn't very useful. We both agreed that grow up is a more traditional novel. Hi Ben. Hi Tao. Hi Caro.

this book seems sweet because it's only forty pages and the type is large